Mark Twain

Some of the most famous quotes by MARK TWAIN.

1)Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper.

2) All generalizations are false, including this one.

3) As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always
been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake.

4) But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

5) Buy land, they're not making it anymore.

6) Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.

7) Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

8) Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

9) I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough.

10) I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up.

11) I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.

12) If man could be crossed with the cat, it would improve man but deteriorate the cat.

13) If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.

14) It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

15) Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.

16) It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races.

17) Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.

18) Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat

19) One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

20)Patriot: the person who can holler the loudest without knowing what he is hollering about.

21)The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.

22)The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year.

23)The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.

24)The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop.

25)The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.

26)There are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish the farce.

27)To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.

28)What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce.

29)When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.

30)Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

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